My life is getting more complicated and busy and if no one reads them, I will just stop doing it.
As I said before, one of the reasons I stay in my current home is because of a certain bird which only sings at dawn and dusk. It begins singing in mid-May and continues through the summer, but no other time. I had never heard this particular bird before in my life and its song is so alluring, it keeps me here despite all the challenges that living in a semi-rural area in the redwood forest brings.
Last week, while visiting a friend in Port Townsend, I heard that same compelling call. I took it as a sign that it might be time to make a big change. I spent only 4 days on the Olympic peninsula, but it caused a profound shift in my being. I had a strong sense of the person I am becoming who is quite different from the person I have been. I have had strong indicators of that prior to my visit up north but it is now becoming evident to others. The inner change seems to be taking on external form.
After a few days up there, I saw enough that I realized that is not a place I want to live. One has to drive a lot just buy food. In some communities, you have to take a ferry to go grocery shopping. I don’t like that at all. I want to drive less, not more.
The change I have sensed is a shift in my internal geography rather than the external. When I returned to my home, I did not recognize it. Or rather I saw that I was not the same person as the one who had left there only a week before. I looked at everything and wondered “who lives here?” I realized my task is to continue to make the external match the internal, so I set an intention to work on that for the summer.
A long-time friend took me out for my birthday lunch on Saturday. He remarked that I had gone through a profound change from the last time we had talked. And I knew it was true. I also saw that while I have chosen to live, he is moving towards dying. Part of me wanted to shake him and say “wake up. Find something to live for.”
So what is it that is going on?
I ‘happened’ to pull out a CD of a talk by Steven Forest from Astrology Day, San Francisco March 2011 in which he talks about the effect that Neptune will have on us as it transits Pisces. While many of the talks that day spoke of the Uranus/Pluto square and the end of the Mayan calendar, his keynote was on Neptune.
Since Neptune has been within orb of my Moon for quite a while, I decided to listen to Neptune, to make my decisions in a Neptunian way…in short to be guided by Neptune. I also have Pluto conjunct Saturn in the 12th house, so in a very real way, I have a Piscean soul.
Like many people these days, I was becoming more and more depressed about life. I was just surviving day by day. I felt limitation all around me. I didn’t see a way out. I was using my mind to try to solve my problems and my mind had no answers. In a sense, I had to surrender. I had to ‘let go and let god’, so to speak. I don’t mean god in the narrow sense. I mean GOD the ultimate creator/creatrix of the Universe. The One. I had to let that force create through me…using my eyes, my hands, my heart. I had to become a channel of the force of creativity that comes to the Earth through the human being.
I have followed the path of creative imagination. Rather than doing more spiritual things with my Neptune transit, I have been led by a quest for beauty and it is leading me to my new life. I let go of my pre-conceived notions of what my life should be, could be and have instead found something I never could have thought possible. I am excited about life. I have plans and goals.
The ancient Maya say that artists painted the world into being. They were wise beings who knew the power of beauty. While in the Christian bible, god creates with the word, Mayan spiritual tradition begins with the images painted on the sky.
My definition of myself has changed. I now call myself an artist and astrologer. I don’t hesitate to use that word ‘artist’ because others did so before I did. Being an artist changes everything for me. I am no longer forced to express myself in words.
And as to this current Full Moon in Sagittarius. The Sun and Moon are forming a T Square to Neptune. We are all being shown a way out of the dilemma of words (Gemini) and meaning (Sagittarius). We can find ourselves arguing forever about the importance of this or that, but we will all say “Ah” when we see a beautiful sunset or hear the haunting song of a bird in the forest. Again Steven Forest at Norwac this year made that “Ah” sound and we all understood what he meant. We are, after all, animals. We all know pleasure and pain. We complicate the world with words, but they do not satisfy like a good meal does.
Gurdjieff talked about the need for ‘third force’ in order to facilitate change. It can be seen as the mediating energy between two opposites – sort of like synthesis. We can get stuck in black and white, yes and no or other types of polar thinking. Neither one satisfies. Neptune visibly is providing that third force these days. Neptune, while subtle, can have profound effects on us if we are not honoring it. We may find ourselves wanting to sleep more, use mind-altering substances, tuning out in various ways or even ending up in fugue states. Our addictions often represent ‘toxic’ Neptune. But when you channel Neptune’s energy into music, art, poetry, dance or other creative forms, Neptune can make your dreams reality.
Add a little Neptune to your life and see what happens.