I have had no connection to Prince in his life, but his death has affected me. Mostly because I am seeing such an outpouring of grief and recognition of his influence and I basically know nothing about him except that he wore makeup. I see how I have been out of that particular loop (his music). But for some reason, his death has sparked the realization of my own morality. He was 10 years younger than me. As I lie in bed last night moving into sleep, I knew I could die at any moment. I have no ‘ailments’ that I know of, since I just had a medical exam, but Death could show up anyway.
Could be the Scorpio Full Moon? The archetype of Scorpio is complex like all of them, but as Pluto’s home sign, it represents death, transformation and rebirth. Among its symbols is the phoenix.
Last weekend I did a show called Art is You. A mixed media week long retreat, followed by a 2.5 day trunk show. I did the trunk show. I have to say that it had a profound effect on me. I have not been ‘the same’ since. I look around at my home and don’t recognize it. I have changed inside. And I know that means my outer life will be changing too.
I can’t explain the changes. It is a feeling, not a thought. The thought came when I realized how different I was feeling. My mind is recognizing a shift and trying to name it. The mind wants to know and understand…get a handle on it…in other words, try to control it. This is part of our human experience in a body. We seek to know and understand. But there are times when just feeling is what is needed. In fact, when seeking our ‘next’ in life, we are best served when we go with the feelings.
Many of us are ready to make big changes in our lives, but have no idea what or where we are to go next. I suggest you follow the crumbs left on the path of your daily life. Whatever ‘sparkles’. That is, whatever attracts you. It may not be the thing you are to do, but it will lead you there. Time to trust the process.
The Taurus/Scorpio axis represents the sensing and feeling aspects of ourselves in our environment. Taurus relates to the physical environment, Scorpio to psychological states. Taurus is practical, Scorpio seeks transformation. Sensuality vs Sexuality…related, but not the same.
So you can say, I have been doing this Full Moon…allowing my feelings to lead my transformation. For decades I have been following the teaching of Don Juan in the Castaneda books: using Death as an advisor.
What else would a SN in Scorpio conjunct Chiron do? My challenge, my NN, is to understand and move towards Taurus. I see Taurus as comfort. I have learned all I need to learn from pain and difficulty…now it’s time to learn from joy. Allowing myself to experience the sensual pleasures of food, my cozy bed, a hot bath, a healing touch. Here we are in a body. When we are sick or in pain, we see that body as a burden. But when all is well and we are experiencing a bodily pleasure, are we acknowledging that? The “Ahs” of life? In some ways, I feel that is why we are here in bodies.
For me, the Ninth Elegy by Rainier Maria Rilke gives some insights as to our existence in a body:
“Earth, is this your will?
An invisible resurrection within ourselves?
Is it your desire one day to vanish?
What do you demand but transformation?
Beloved Earth, I will!
Further springtimes are not required to win me-
On my word, a single May is too heady for my blood.
I have been your tongue-tied subject lo, these many years.
Ever you spoke true and your holiest idea is Death, our constant friend.”
Duino Elegies by Rainier Maria Rilke
What this means to me is that part of our purpose is to experience, record, and remember Earth. We are witnesses via our sensual experiences of this planet. I believe the “judgement day” will be when we will be asked to account for what we perceived and felt while here. Did we feel the pleasure of seeing beauty? Did we smell the flowers? Did we feel the warmth of the Sun? Did we love the sound of a bird’s song? Did we laugh, cry, sing, dance? Did we appreciate the Earth? Did we even notice where we were?
If not….that is the only “sin” we are guilty of. We were not in our body while we had one.
Be Here Now!